The Option Tough Toys

Caleb LashJanuary 22, 201912min11680

The Option

Every Day Carry Wise                   Image result for evel knievel toy

Tough Toys

I was recently cleaning out my basement and came across some of the toys my daughters had as kids. I it got me thinking about the toys I had as a kid. The technology of today’s toys sure has advanced since I was a Kid but, I wonder if they have really gotten better. My generation did not have these high tech video games or electronics, but the toys we did have were tough. They weren’t rechargeable, they took batteries, large heavy D-cell batteries, which were always sold separately, and you never knew that until you got home. I remember my Dad mumbling under his breath about “f-ing batteries” and “for the F-ing prices batteries should supplied.” Dad would do this while getting up to take the batteries out of his black metal police flashlight. This happened every time, whenever I think about it, I can hear his voice; it makes me laugh just a little. I remember having disagreements with friends and cousins, it taught you restraint, because hitting somebody with a toy back then could involve a hospital visit, for the recipient. Our toys had the capability to injure us, even through normal play. These toys had heavy metal moving parts that could crush and pinch fingers. Pointy corners and edges, sharper than commando knives. Our toys could truly F you up. The toys made kids tough. We didn’t have these visually beautiful worlds or action packed battlefields created by video games. We were forced to create these worlds in our imagination. We would share our imaginary worlds with friends and playmates, and they would do the same. Attacking imaginary enemy strongholds together, with toy guns, going ‘Rat A Tat Tat”, or gun shaped sticks. Afterward we would hang out in ramshackle forts built out of found wood and nails.  We would sneak tools out of our father’s garages internally vowing to bring them back, but always losing them and facing Dads wrath. Those old school toys forced you to communicate with each other. To learn about each other, even learn the importance to a good friend and depend on each other.  These concepts seem to be lacking importance in our society these days. Our toys gave back. Our toys gave us friendships and memories. I walk through stores today and toy guns are a pretty rare site. Toy guns have been demonized by the everyone gets a trophy culture. Take them toy guns away, they make kids violent. The amazing thing is my generation grew up with toy guns, and I don’t recall any horrible school shootings, from that time period. Sadly, the Toy gun grabbing easily offended generation can’t say that. I don’t think it’s the toy guns.  I believe those old school toys helped prepare us for a life of critical thinking and expanded imaginations. It’s those mental tools that we use every day and help sharpen our situational awareness. Critical thinking is important to knowing what danger looks like and how to avoid those dangers. How to react to those dangers. Imagination is important as it helps us imagine what the dangerous people can think up and to have scenarios in place, in our minds before the crisis happens. The time to plan for a crisis is before the crisis, not during it. it’s extremely difficult to come up with a workable plan while the crisis is occurring.


My Favorite toy ever, was my Evel Knievel motorcycle riding action figure. This action figure was based on an actual American Icon of the seventies, motorcycle stunt sportsman, Evel Knievel. Evel was a living example of the American Spirit. He would do incredible stunts, jumping his Harley Davidson motorcycle over obstacles that were completely insane. Evel Knievel would be dressed head to toe in red, white and blue. He was the Elvis of stunt cycling.  Evel probably crashed more times than he stuck his landings and was rumored to have broken every bone in his body at least once. Evel attempted to jump the Snake River Canyon in 1974. He attempted this jump in a rocket shaped vehicle called a Skycycle X-2, just the name of this thing is cool as F. The Skycycle had an open Indy car style cockpit and was powered by steam. F-ing steam, WTF, it was like an old west locomotive. This was a major event and was televised live on Wide World of Sports. The attempt was not successful, but what I took away from the footage of the Skycycle Plummeting into the canyon, and the subsequent retrieval of Evel, was this. The Skycycle itself had a parachute attached to it, much like a parachute on the back of a funny car. Evel on the other hand wore no parachute at all. What a set of balls. All these X Game athletes with their dreadlocks, lip rings and skull tatts, probably don’t even know the name Evel Knievel. That’s sad, because without Evel Knievel their sport probably wouldn’t exist. Evel Knievel Passed away on November 30th 2007, but he inspired millions of dumb kids like myself, to jump over garbage cans on our Huffy bikes. It was no surprise that a toy was built in honor of one of the toughest dudes ever but, the toy would have to be tough as well. It did not disappoint. This toy was badass, tough and grizzled. The only motorcycle dudes tougher than my Evel Knievel Toy is Kovacks and the boys riding to Shot Show on their bikes. Kovacks riding low, Wilson Combat Beretta attached to his hip.   Action figure Evel Knievel could kick a Hipster’s ass. Understand what I’m saying here. I’m not talking about a Hipster –Action figure. I’m talking about an actual living coffee house dwelling Hipster.   Here’s how the toy worked, you would attach the bendy Evel figure onto the Motorcycle and then hook it up to the revving machine. You would then turn the wheel handle as fast as you could. This would rev up the motorcycle motor and it would release from the gear wheel, sending the motorcycle and Evel across the room, at a relatively incredible speed. This amazingly strong plastic and metal toy would slam off of walls, table legs, siblings and parents, causing damage to everything it hit. Your brother would limp into the kitchen, crying to mom, with a Small motorcycle handlebar shaped laceration on his ankle. The toy always suffered zero damage.  I sent my Evel off ramps which would send the motorcycle ten feet into the air and watched it crash to the ground. I literally sent this motorcycle with Evel, left hand above his head in victory, off the roof of my house and watched it crash onto the driveway. The toy suffered minor scratches, but worked just fine. Evel Knievel and its motorcycle worked every time on everything, indoors, outdoors, wood floors, Carpet, concrete, dirt, gravel, grass, it never stopped working. It was the Glock of toys. As the years went by I lost track of my Evel Knievel. It was lost to adulthood and time. Time is the ultimate thief. The older I get, the more evident that is. As I write this I am in another transition period of my life. Last week I helped move  my oldest daughter into her new house and my youngest daughter turns twenty one and is in the final semester of college, on her way to getting her teaching degree. I’m proud of them and they are further along in life, than I was at their age. They are wonderful, smart, caring and beautiful young women. They get all those traits from their mother. I understand it’s the job of the parent to raise their children to eventually move on and start their own lives, and I’m proud and grateful to god, to have been given the privilege to have been a part of it all. But, I’m still a little sad that they had to grow up. I sometimes wish I could go back in time, even for just a little while, and have my little girls back. I know that’s impossible. I wonder if I got my hands on an Evel Knievel Action Figure could I get two adult daughters and a wife, to build a ramp and have good old Evel and jump over some stuff and hang out with their old Dad.  I think it’s worth a try. Now all I need is have somebody to help me get on EBAY.


The  Option Every Day Carry Wise Safety Suggestion- When in a dark room and using a flashlight, instead of pointing the light out in front of you to search and clear the room, try this trick, point the flashlight beam up to the ceiling. The light will bounce off the ceiling and light up the room like a fifteen watt bulb. Give it a try.  Be safe out there.


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